Withnoheartbeat's Journals

I'm so tired...

of being a reclusive bitch. I know no one cares about my page or photos or writing, but really who gives a damn? I'll take what I can get from this site and be happy with it. So I'M BACK! Hopefully for good. Maybe now I can actually post some skills and show talent instead of all the bull shit I used to post. So here I am!

another trip around the merry go round.

I don't know how many times that I can leave here and come back.. but alas, I am again. This site takes too much out of me. Everytime I come on I just feel worse and worse about myself and think less and less of other people. This site is beginning to become my life, which is terrifying. So goodbye young lovers, when I return, if I return, I will come back with a vengance... I hope.

Don't Be Afraid to Dream (Let's Do Things Differently)

iâ�™m a dreamer, but not a lonely one/iâ�™ve got friends on this journey with me/donâ�™t be afraid to dream, come along with us/defeat is not certain so why not take the chance? prison break, suburban escape/i was once so angered by the thought, but now I wish that idea had entirely belonged to me/yet now you stand, frightened and afraid/to dream/to leave. donâ�™t be afraid to dream, come along with us/ to worlds untouched, to places no one will come looking for us/join us/pack your bags and donâ�™t look back/just dream

A Walk Down a Broken Path

Was it his touch or the touch that sent chills down my spine?

Memories fade but never disappear.

Please listen to my whisper my dear.

If not I swear all will not be fine.

Was it her touch or the touch that stung my eyes with tears?

Quick heartbeats and hands I had to control.

A constant pain tugs at my soul.

Every night my mind is haunted with new fears.

Was it my thoughts or the thoughts that are the reason for nightmares during the day?

Was it their scream or the scream that sent my headphones slamming into my ears?

Was it his words or the words that make makeup stream down my cheeks?

Was it her talent or the talent that made the foolish thoughts come to my mind?

Was it her advice or the advice that holds me back every time I snap?

Was it that event that began this all?

**writer's block is over. I liked the idea of this but I'm not so sure about the outcome. Tell me what ya think :]

Can I haz a Welcome bak party nao?

Wow, a whole whopping two and half days I was "gone". To all of you that supported me I say thank you, thank you very much. I think my little spiel is now over and with some very comforting and empowering messages between a very good friend of mine and an AMAZINGWRITERTHATDOESNOTGETTHEATTENTIONSHEDESERVESANYMORE coughhyperballad13cough. I think that an amazing plan is in store for the buzznet world and I only hope that I have the power and determination to see through with said plan. I'm not making any promises and I might upset a lot of the fantastic photographers on here, but writing is falling into the background and we all know it. It is time the great writers of this site are acknowledged and that the writer's are seen for their talents, not becuase of who they are. My hope is that this will only better this wonderful site and inspire many more people to write (totally did not mean to make that rhyme). Please forgive me for minor drama moment and please wish me luck in my future ideas for buzznet.

I'm leaving.

I'm leaving buzznet for a few days.. not that it matters or anything to most of you. I feel like I am not welcome here anymore and I'm wasting my time. Sorry, I'm really not trying to have a hissy fit but I'm just getting sick of the feeling I get everytime I come on this site. So have fun everyone. I'm not sure how long I'll be gone, but I'll be back because I'm so lame that I could never fully leave this place. Good bye. And love to some of you. I hope you haven't changed, or I hope I haven't changed without even realizing.

Money Jar

Money jar, Money jar.

Says drop your coins.

Hold back salty tears and slightly laugh.

Donâ�™t joke. This is not a joke. Donâ�™t make me laugh, I will.

Money jar, Money jar.

You bring the guilty.

You bring the shameful.

Well done. Youâ�™ve done well. It aches me so.

Money jar, Money jar.

Youâ�™re oh so empty.

Please fill it up.

Tip it off. Why not? Oh, just stop.

Money jar, Money jar.

You compete with the rest.

You fight those other jars.

Jar fight club. Ha. Nonsense.

Money jar, Money jar.

Lessen your glare dear.

You might turn their eyes again.

We donâ�™t want that. No! No! Goodness.

Bring out your wallets boys,

If youâ�™re not a villain.

And you wouldnâ�™t want that would you?

No.

Please just a coin or two.

Beg. Beg.

Sigh.

It shouldnâ�™t be like this.

I agreeâ�¦ finally.

**nautical nonsense... loveth. :] only not really. :] crazy times. crazy mind. this is not poetry. oh no.

Land of the Unseen

Because I am such an effing duche I forgot to post a poem that I wrote on Halloween for Halloween to share with you all, and I just found it... SO... I changed it up a little bit and I've decided to post it :] Tell me what ya think. God, I feel like I haven't written in so long...

Tick tock goes the haunted clock.

Walk with me into rooms with doors that mysteriously lock.

Try your hardest to get out.

Because Iâ�™m sure your blood would run cold if you knew what this is all about.

Tick.

Tock.

The clock udders a ghastly warning.

Poisoned tears drip from eyes that are now crying.

Shadows dance across the bare cracked walls.

A distant dying creature crawls.

Tick.

Tock.

The clock rings again and itâ�™s almost thirteen once more.

Run my dear to the door!

Shadows come closer with each step you take,

You close your eyes and hate yourself for this mistake.

Tick.

Tock

Cold surrounds your fragile bones,

as you run across the floor the rotten wood creaks and it groans.

Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

Tock.

The door will not open and thereâ�™s no way out.

By now your heart is only full of doubt.

DING.

DONG.

You scream as the clock chimes the dreaded thirteen.

Iâ�™ll appear to you now and whisper, â�œWelcome to my land, the land of things unseen.â�

Now let me speak.

Everything I wish I could say to people's faces, or um their notes... but here is goes. These are messages to buzznet users that I may or may not have on my friend list.... here goes nothing.

Stop thinking you are so fricking fantastic. Your photos are not that great and you pretend like everyone that is not your age is unitelligent. Nice.

I don't understand how all your old photos were complete and utter shit and then magically you have dozens of beautiful photos that you claim are yours but I do not understand how they could be given your previous "talents".

Stop using the horrible and incredibly unintelligent "text/valley girl/idiot" language. Unless you are making fun of lolcatz do not talk like "hay thanxx hunn!". It makes you sound stupid. It really does.

Save your interweb hate energy for other important things, like hm, maybe real life issues? The web is an illusion and it's not something to treat like real life so don't waste your time, energy, and junior high insults on making other people feel like shit and making yourself look like a total asshole.

Don't let the internet drama get to you. It's not worth it.

I can't believe people look up to you. You disgust me. I don't know how you even call yourself a human.

Featured photos are complete and utter bull shit. I will say that some of the photos that are featured are fantastic and deserve recogniztion, but most are just because of who is in the picture and some I don't even understand. Example: one of my featured photos holding a cut out smile. I wish it was not featured. I am not trying to disrespect the wonderful admins, but I'm jsut saying that I do not understand. There are so many lovely photos that are not featured and I know it discourages people and makes them feel like all their work was for nothing.

Stop taking credit for other people's photos. Just stop. Everyone knows you are a fraud so just stop. You're making a fool out of yourself.

You changed, and I hate it.

I hate being a temporary spot on someone's top. I understand that everyone needs fair "turns" but really just stick to it.

I hate when people post journals like "oh I'm going to go kill myself!". Seriously. There is a very big difference between a being desparate for attention and reaching out for help.

Stop thinking you are the queen of the internet and no, I am not talking about Jstar.

If you hate Twilight so much, why do you spend so much fucking time and effort bashing it? Go do something useful with your time. Please. And I would say that for any book/movie, it is not ust because I enjoy the series myself.

Stop putting other people down and saying stupid things about them just becuase you don't enjoy the same music as them. It doesn't make you a "cool kid" to be an asshole to other people.

And lastly.

No matter how many issues I have with this place, I love it to death and there are so many incredible and wonderful people here that have made an impact on my life. I want to say thank you. Thank you to all the brilliant and creative minds on this site that have put a smile on my lips or a song in my head. Love to you all. :]

I'm ready for the truth.

I'm tired of either hearing all yippy positive things about me or just flat out name calling behind my back, so please, tell me what you honestly think. Hit me with your best shot :]

(sorry but I dont know how to make the little box show up so just click the link..)

http://sickoflies.chatango.com/group